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Wandering Wonders

8 Jul

May I remind you that the category for this post is under Want to do Someday.

It has been a long while since my last heartbreak.  That already is a valid reason for not wanting to have another one anytime soon.  Right?

Smug couples and guys I hang around with, you can say all you want.  Of course, I do want to be coupled someday.  But don’t push because you have no idea of the real situation.  Here are my other excuses for choosing to remain single:

1. Magic Thinking – "I don’t have to do anything. No special effort is required. When the time comes, it comes."

2. Perfectionism – "Though I don’t feel the magic with this sweet, loving, caring, persistent guy, I should not let him get away." vs. "What if your Someone arrives only to find you coupled with the one you settled with?"

3. Choices – As it was my decision to prioritize work (as it was where most of my energies were spent) than to do something else, it is a subconscious selection to remain single.

4. Baggage – Somewhere deep in my head there is this want to get back with X or an unfinished business with Y, and other stuff I need to deal with

While conronting these 4 demons,life feels unpredictable. I am scared shitless.  But I am doing it.  Little by little. 

Forgive me, D.  I wish I had something better than this truth to offer you.

So my friends, this is the result of the Lovelife/Kilig Factor recent events that has been bugging in my head for the past 8 weeks.  I am glad I had the time to sit down and verbalize the thoughts in my head.  I hope the rantings here got you confused as me when I did this.

OR

We can write this entry off to SUPREME BOREDOM!  I need another distraction.

My Own Home by 2008!

10 Mar

As much as I have committed to be updating this blog religiously, February has been a very busy month. Went to SG for some training. Got two of my articles published at the company  newsletter.  Bought a phone I’ve been eyeing since last year. Work. Movies. Work. Reunion. Work. Dining. Work. Work. So February up and went.

A week ago is marked as a milestone as it is that day that I have decided and have committed to purchase real estate property.  The decision has given me a feeling closest to getting married and giving birth at the same time.

Bottomline is I need to bust my ass more so I can meet the payments on time and to maintain the lifestyle I have been not-so-complaining about recently!

Dsc00103 

Bury My Brother!

1 Nov

Unknown to most of my friends, I have another brother who came out in the world as stillborn.  His name is Domingo.  He would have been 33 or 34 if he were alive today.

This is probably one of the most unbelievable yet saddest stories that my family has.  My parents (now 75 and 70) were then renting a small room somewhere in the GSIS Project 8 Village in Quezon City.  My mom was having a hard time during her pregnancy as she was sick most of the time while going to work, and no one was around to take care of her because my dad was at work.  Manong Joel was already going to elementary school then.  Bottomline was they didn’t have much money.

My mom had a bleeding and was brought to the hospital.  They had to remove the baby as they have determined that he is dead.  That procedure costed them a lot more than a normal delivery, as they had to clean my mom’s uterus and such.

So my brother was dead on the morgue, with no money for funeral expenses.  They have talked long and hard.  Eventually, they decided to bury him on the backyard of the place they were renting then.  In a shoebox.  I could imagine the grief they had during that time but survival had forced them to make do with what was available.

The first time they told me that a long time ago, I had promised myself to give him a decent burial when I could afford it.  Now I could, but I am having a hard time putting that to reality as my parents would not (or does not want to) remember the actual address where it all happened.

Swimming

27 May

I have always wanted to learn how to swim.

It’s always a pity during outings that I only dip, I never go to the deep parts at the beach, or if I do I never leave the gutter at the pool.  All because I was afraid of drowing.

Last year I paid 50% on a professional swimming class. Darn it, work got in the way, and I never even attended the first session. So for the summer last year I went to places that had pools and dipping was the best that I could do.

Pathetic!

But this summer, I didn’t enroll, good thing I had buddies who have the same plight.  We searched high and low for a place to go.  And we have.  An plus factor here is we also found TIME to actually start it, do it, and stick with it. 

Hopefully in a month’s time we’d be real swimmers–finally.

What I’ve learned/achieved so far:

  1. Breathing.  It’s the main point on learning to swim.
  2. Not losing your balance. (Geez just last Saturday I fell with all my dry clothes!  Too excited I guess.)
  3. Being shameless on wearing swimsuits.  I don’t care anymore. I’ve accepted my body.
  4. Not being afraid to go on without air for a while.  Drowning ain’t likely because if you get afraid just stand up. Well, I practice only on places where I can stand.
  • Update (June 11, 2005) Thanks to Coach Des & Coach Leah, I can now backfloat.  Weeeee!
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