Light and Freedom

18 May

(Day 18 of Mindful in May)

I’m going to be pretty vague about this one and focus on the feelings because I will be hitting on a specific reader’s toes if I get into any more detail.

The tone I’ve been using on the past few entries have been really dark so instead of trying to keep keeping on like that, I just shut up and let light come in to take care of me.

It is not one instant event given the overwhelming hesitation, uncertainty and mistrust on people and the world had previously appeared to be. The negative forces had been quite active on being too noisy that the tiny person holding the light can barely speak. This then resulted in panic and despair.

A quick trip to the columbarium and a monologue having my father’s ashes as audience was all it took to make me dump every single noise, to qualify its significance in my life, to quash my preconceived notions of what and how should it be and how I should react when people believe it should.

No hagulgol crying was made on this unloading, but I felt tons lighter, my world got more space to be a little more brighter, and that general sense of I-don’t-give-a-flying-fart-I-can-do-anything sense of invincibility has come in and decided to stay once more. 

It’s a pleasant feeling. Like the sound of the heavens when you’re summitting before sunrise.  Like the gentle breeze of the sea as you walk on the beach.  Like the almost flirty tones of the birds chirping.  Like the steadiness of the water as it flows through the stream.

So world, good and bad, I am sooo back and ready to take you on again in full force.  Bring it.

 

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4 Responses to “Light and Freedom”

  1. kemuel May 19, 2012 at 12:12 am #

    Today i am very sad and overwhelmed by so many emotion filled, thoughts. Because despite the economical situation we are forced to cope with in Spain, which I can live with, this morning, i heard in the news about a newborn child, that has been surgically intervened in the city of Córdoba, south of Spain, because although he was born with testicles, he has no male genitalia (penis). A phenomena which can occur every so many millions of children. The child urinated and defecated through the anal canal. The surgeons that have intervened, have done so for humanitarian reasons. In this manner the child will be able to identify his sexuality and not feel different from others. They have reconstructed a male genitalia. The truth is that it will
    only be an appendige with no use what so ever. As the child grows, he will have to be continually intervened in order to resize the extremity. He continúes to urinate through the anal orífice. Now i know my problems are so small. Having health and God, everything is going to be allright.

    • LodRose May 19, 2012 at 6:12 am #

      Dear Kemuel,

      Thank you for sharing such a powerful story of how your world is right now. I say a little prayer and send positive thoughts and love to this wonderful boy that you speak of. That, and a hug to you too.

      Keep your faith with Divine Providence. It knows what’s best for us. Trust its judgment and try to enjoy life along the way.

      • kemuel August 23, 2012 at 11:58 pm #

        ¿When will I know your real name? I would like to know who I am really speaking with.

      • LodRose August 29, 2012 at 1:28 pm #

        there is no other person to update this blog, and it is not so hard to find out about me

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