Talking Shit, Pee & Jizz on World Toilet Day

19 Nov

This is a scheduled post. I’m somewhere in Tarlac for the weekend on some goody two-shoe activity, perhaps I will update this post next week to share how this Aeta Community gets rid of their poop.  I’m guessing dig & bury.

Apologies for the NSFW terms because i won’t get your attention otherwise!  So if the video and photo below do not keep you, feel free to close tab or whatever.

For all of us who have access to the internet, we take toilets for granted.  I would hear an occassional whine about not having a personal one, but I’d like to share some perspective.

While there is a huge research now of the futuristic toilet that will no longer require water and will allow recycling, it’s really shocking to find out that considering the modern times, 2.6 billion people in the world that do not have this privilege and guess what?  In time, will affect us all.

Okay, so you’re finding me gross, I’ll tone it down a bit by cutting down on seriously heavy stuff but still about toilets: 

Best toilets are the ones in Dubai, where bidets seem to be mandatory.

I got freaked out with the squat toilets I first saw in the ladies room at the Kuala Lumpur International Airport.  When I stayed in Malaysia, I realized these are more sanitary than the sit-down ones.

From Wacky Archives

Then again I shouldn’t complain because I have this distinct memory as a kid that on our public elementary school,  we used to pee on an elevated section of the bathroom floor, required to “shoot” the urine on the non-elevated, enclosed partition else we pee on our shoes. (Will try to find a photo later. One below is the closest so far that I can find on short notice.)

Who would ever forget about the urinals out and about on most national roads in Metro Manila by Bayani Fernando?

From Flickr user My Soul Insurance

I hear Starbucks is no longer willing to be the community’s public toilet. Yeah awful. First shooing away the wifi freeloaders. Now this.

There’s also the library loo at University of St. Andrews in the UK that has a No Masturbation poster because their loo is not designed for the jizz. I kid you not:

Pardon for this last one as its such a long read, but such graphic imagery on how this dude’s poop was dislodged, you’ll never need a real photo – follow the link for a more readable size:

Colorful poop story

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6 Responses to “Talking Shit, Pee & Jizz on World Toilet Day”

  1. morgan9 November 20, 2011 at 4:07 am #

    Very brave and brazen of you to approach these subjects! I have experienced the Clivus (Sweden) waterless toilets for 16 days there, at Trijang Buddhist Institute in Vermont. Why do very few know of it, and of how much water is saved. And bidets are a great useful invention, just to be able to wash your genitals, and not have to shower as often. Thanks for the tips.
    blessings,
    mickey morgan

  2. LodRose November 20, 2011 at 10:39 pm #

    thanks for reminding me about the waterless toilets that i haven’t considered on writing this post. it is a wonder and shame that this has not become standard when other latter-day developed technologies have become mainstream.

    while i was discussing house plans with my architect before, i was asking for at least a recycled water flusing toilet like those in japan, and he gave me tons of excuses to not do it . he looked at me funny even after i showed the instructables document showing how to do it. i wanted to bash his head in. he didn’t realize it was a dealbreaker for me. he lost the contract as the final outcome.

  3. kemuel November 28, 2011 at 5:49 pm #

    Dear LodRose, I hope you don´t mind if I eulogize a bit, from my side of the world, the actions so graphically and artistically portrayed, in the crapper story nº 13457460. I am a bit broken up between siding with your point on this view, and with the point of view this retorical person had to make. We will never know, the name of this Joe, or the name of that stahl, but in honor to our (all men) fallen hero, we salute him. Would I have done the same thing in his place? I don´t know. But given the circumstances, if I had to weigh in the difference between waiting for that stahl compañion to have finished his phone conversation, and maintaining the bathroom stahl clean, in order for the next person to use it, I think I would have reacted in the same manner. !What a beaút! Sure…I would surely have ended up cleaning my own mess (because I have a live consciounce), and most of all, out of courtesy. But the temptation to leave it in that inert state, so that the next person that comes along finds it, to his discrase, just crosses anyone mans´mind. Maybe, it´s just our way of humor (or not), because I cannot think for all men, but, this is my point of view, and hope, you respect it. I am the type of person that is allergic to public rest rooms. Everytime my family thinks about going out to the shopping mall, I hide the water pitchers the night before, from the refrigerator, I try to make everyone go to the bathroom, to the very last minute, because I know what cooks up in the public area rest rooms. I have witnessed with these eyes, blasphemous things that should never be said or told to anyone. Thought provoking images that will leave you blind and “nauseabúndo”. Even so, they somehow manage to use that public (banned to my taste) area. So when my children decide to use it, I find myself covering the toilet seat with tons of paper, including tossing paper inside, to avoid the splash. Once finished, I wash their hands meticulously, to avoid the spread of germs (although I made sure they didn´t put their hands on any objects, such as bathroom walls or toilet). Once at home, I soak the bottom of their shoes on “lejía” bleach, (something I learned in the military service), to avoid this contamination from entering my premises. Call it what you will, a paranoia or phobia, but I am very open about other things. In some cultures, such as the Japanese, it is very rude to enter with shoes in the house. Thank you for listening, and please, do reply, I hope to hear from you.

  4. LodRose November 28, 2011 at 6:13 pm #

    Dear Kemuel,

    Thank you for sharing how you felt about the crapper story. While I’ve never been close to anything near that kind of situation, I continue to see it as truly humorous because I am sure the phone-a-holic co-crapper on the other stall has learned his lesson to please get off the mobile especially while you’re doing #2!

    I wouldn’t wait either, but I will at least have the decency to warn my crap-mate and yell something like, “Fire in the hall!” watch out of this nasty dump I’m going to take. Then again if you’re at that point you may no longer have the ability to think straight, so I’ll allow it. But I still am curious as to what happened to that phone on the bowl 🙂

  5. kemuel November 28, 2011 at 7:41 pm #

    I haven´t heard that “fire in the hall” in many years, but I can get used to it. Where ever it may be, we don´t know for sure, but I tend to believe the crap mate stuck his hand in the bowl and fished it out. No one in their right mind, would like to leave traces, where anyone may know of such where abouts. ¿Can you imagine him rolling up his business executive sleeve and sticking his hand in there? I can (forgive me if you are an exec.) I had to do that once, but thank God it was at home and no one had done anything yet (clean water). But, it goes to show you that men vs women, we are one celled thinking. We unlike you women (which I have much respect for) are unable to do more than one thing at a time. The other day, for example, my son was studying sciences while listening to “house music”. So I asked, in my finite mind: “¿How can you listen to that loud music and “empollar” (study) at the same time? Somehow, I knew I had made the mistake of asking, but it was too late. For the second time in my life, I saw the answer coming in slow motion (sort of like that movie: the matrix), ¿the first time you ask? when I said: “I do”. But, that´s another story. He said: Dad, it´s because we are the new generation 3.0, we can do multiple functions at the same time, ¿can you dig it? I tried retracing my steps while walking backwards, and became very afraid of his priviledged mind. All I could was smile and say: “okay buddy”, while wondering, “¿where did I go wrong, can I go back to my mothers´womb?” We will see how he changes his mind, once he meets his “half orange”. But, that would be another story. When I got married, I learned to become an idiot very quickly, and to my benefit. It is a good thing to esteem others higher than yourself, when it is beneficial to your health (and I mean it in a literal sense), you can laugh now, but that´s not a chinese cookie full of wisdom, it is my knowledge vs. my wifes´anger. And so, it behooves me, once in a while, only that sometimes I forget to switch on the intelect button, and get caught up in a mess. In Puerto Rico ( although I am currently living in Spain), we have a saying: “el que avisa, no es traidor”. He who warns is no traitor. But what if that crapper mate was asking for it. You have no other choice than to comply with his masochistic need for speed. After all, he was asking for it. In the long run, you will feel better when you listen to that interior voice that knows what is best for you, and over all, for that stall mate. In the end, you will be proud of yourself, because you knew you made the best decision for mankinds´sake.

  6. dog for sale in india January 31, 2012 at 2:22 am #

    thanks for sharing this story,

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