Keeping A Sunny Disposition in the Dark

20 Oct

Sunny Disposition flickr image by mhofstrand

Insomuch as the past several weeks have been hugely stressful for me due to professional and personal challenges that sees me as an easy target to feast on lately.  Add to that the negative vibes within my immediate environment that seem to have dropped by on this already busy head and simply decided to stay. I also fully decided on letting go of one of my three biggest items on my bucket list.  Really heavy stuff.

Then the gray skies and rainy weather!  Oh man I really really hate it!

My speech and thought patterns have been greatly affected.  Looking at the first words and images that pop in my head for any new information that comes in, I barely recognize this zombie that replaced the bubbly, perky, happy-go-lucky girl full of bright ideas, a plan and tons of hope that was me around this time last year.  So I take some quiet time, double back and study.  WTF happened?  How do I climb myself out of this funk-y hole? I don’t like this at all.

As it had been my most of the time guilty pleasure, the positivity/happy thought/cheer-me-up literature actually provides me the opposite effect.  By now, the closest of my friends know to distance themselves when I’m like this.  The develolping ones, well, good to be able to hide with the schedule flexibility of my profession.  I keep away physically, I get vague online. Hint hint hint.  Either you stay to help me go through it or keep away as I’m going to make a very huge mess.

Sumptous & glorious food, sweets, alcohol and partying does provide temporary comfort, but I can’t go on a bingeing, munching, boozing spree forever!  I actually like my wardrobe now and not keen to replace them for the rest of this decade.  I also need to be lucid enough to be able to earn my living.

I’m only able to share this now because of an epiphany, great chocolate, and a really really good Cheerleader [THANK YOU!].  An expected development happening on the coming days, when it does happen, will confirm it.

I keep fighting the good fight because I know all the efforts exerted and continue to make will all be worth these wishes for my universe that I continue to strive for.

So I’m not gonna ruin the surprise.  I’lm unplugging my worries, chill and let the universe take care of me.

Wish me luck! (Or not, every chance I get to see the sun anywhere, or when the cat approaches me for some cuddling, even the assuring clear taste of water – it feels like a whispering, “While you breathe, you hope!”

 

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