Happy Father’s Day, PAPA!

15 Jun

I have learned a lot from you, though your method of teaching is hmmn, not so traditional.

It has been painful for you to walk for a few years now so your moving around activities are limited to the house, sitting on your chair in front of it and going to and from the neighborhood store.  You’re turning 77 this July.  Your elder sister died a few weeks ago.

You’ve been ill a couple of days back and had difficulties getting up from bed.  Now they say you can barely hear and people yell at you by default for you to be able to understand what they’re saying.  This is freaking me out so I have to go do this.  I hope you appreciate it.

A few months ago, I went and asked you that if your life had been different, what would you see yourself doing other than this life you have now?

You have a ready, curt no-nonsense, four-letter word answer that I refuse to share with everybody – it’s mine!

Looking at it now, I should have apologized for laughing my ass of out of what you said.  I am sorry.  I did not understand then.  I do now.

Your life had been a series of challenges since you were young and without a good pair of parents (be it their fault or not) that might have made your life easier.  That’s no excuse to get deep into a series of alcohol-induced stupor.  Adolescence, even adulthood did not offer additional comfort and or has even made you used to uhmm…well…what you’re used to.  Then comes your fairy-tale wedding.  Eventually it grew to a family.  I just happened to be on that unit. This marriage and family grew.

At times I think I thirst for what might have been (and since you’re still alive – this could very well improve – I can hope, right?) our interactions because I am often told I’ve always been your favorite.  I have no blame but gratitude and the ever constant need & compulsion to take care of you.

But since I’m miles away (and you can’t hear me on the phone or even on the webcam), let me tell you this:

As you have always done alone since you were young, keep taking care of yourself.

And oh, I LOVE YOU.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: